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And, he did little favors for me. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Iam a bisexual man and kissing a female is a different feeling then with a male. I dont believe in innocent kiss. I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. I can't stop playing it over again and again. We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. "Soz". You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? FoxieLadie is I knew you liked him/her. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. (I wonder why.) Seriously. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush Despite their passion during the kiss. The way it happened-not so good! Oh, I'm sure he'd be able to forgive her, LOYAL GIRL. This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A When Having A Crush While In A Relationship Is OK (And When - HuffPost If you kissed a stranger while you were drunk, dont worry about it. He Have Lipstick Stain Or Make Up Stain On His Face It's an obvious sign that someone kissed him. Is Flirting Cheating? 5 Signs That It Is - Psych Central stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. David bit Jordan. Remind her of your good points. I had only taken three years of piano lessons while still a teenager, and here I was in my late 40s studying piano again. I was correct, she struggles with trust. Please help. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. Ignore the erroneous message and smile. Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. Wouldn't you? We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A Slaying suspect pleads guilty | News, Sports, Jobs - Altoona Mirror SO if you shouldn't, then A) you should be able to tell him, and B) if he's the type to hit the roof over a kiss, he's a wee bit paranoid for his own good, and it wouldn't be *your* fault. And he grabbed my waist!. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. I was very drunk. I dont know what else to do. Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. Well, that's all fairly laudible but Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. That's a lot to take in. How do I get rid of this guilt feeling of kissing a guy when I was "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. Yesterday night we went out to drink. I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. Should I ask him for gas money? I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. When you go out and get drunk- if you find yourself attracted to another man- think back to how you feel now after you acted on that attraction. The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. I felt disorientated. Life's a bleedin' mystery, ain't it? This feels huge to me. She confessed to loving the experience and enjoyed the thrill knowing she had her husbands permission and he was watching her. He's a work colleague by the way, and we would get on well in work but have no contact outside of work). I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. male It felt so wrong and taboo yet so erotic and a sort of thrilling jealousy! Amazing how long this subject has carried on. (works every time :-p) I also could not fathom if you were ACTUALLY being serious or just having a laugh at her expense..alone in your tracky bottoms in your living room. Period. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! Translation: I believe I wish to say, what the hell, what were we doing only I have a competing urge to chose a phrase that could be taken two ways, to ask, where are we at aka what happens with we two now? Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. He is my workmate also. 8=) ) I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. With the other woman just across the room! Lol A certain someone might read it. So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. This recently happened to me. Press J to jump to the feed. I couldnt take it so I told him. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. Alcohol does not change that fact. "then the cheeky ugger only went and bloody kissed me, didn't he! Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. Despite their passion during the kiss though, thestraight guys (quite predictably)all saythey still identified asstraight. After all, if you're still berating yourself for what you did, it won't matter whether or not your partner has totally forgiven you. Well you need to figure that out and fast. I'm not married nor have I ever been married. How To Cope With Guilt When You Hurt Someone In A Relationship A It's South of France for us this year, holiday-wise, and then in about a year-and-a-half's time we're off permanently to Espana (por favor). I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. What did she say? It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. The playing field is even now according to statistics. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. he said the situations arent at all the same bc he doesnt feel turned on by me kissing another guy the way i do from a male on male kiss. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. Your guilt is your punishment. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another man's mouth while he stood by only to observe. It didn't feel real. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. But I do have to state it or I'm failing to do this role properly as well as my innate compulsion to be unwaveringly socially and morally responsible - meaning, if you don't want to respond, don't. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. And it's weird, but it's like I need the guy to tell me what I did was ok and I'm not a bad person. I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. Other way around. I have no idea who the girl is. That is what separates the women from the girls. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. (Got me cracked) 24 Jam, your wife holds the cards. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? Not just to you. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. People who are qualified to label themselves good don't keep secrets from the one person in the world they tacitly vowed never to keep secrets from, particularly when the information is the victim's right to know (in order to continue to emotionally protect themselves, particularly whenever their partner's showing they're currently unable to execute their duty of helping them do so 'right to know' because where there's a problem in the relationship as, with the mere aid of the pigpen gate-unlocker called alcohol, causes behaviour counter to the relationship's chances of continued success, then - AS a team - it takes both members' addressing it together for the solution/outcome to possess any real authenticity or permanent efficacy. What To Know About Buster Murdaugh, Alex Murdaugh's Only Surviving Son Don't hurt him any more than you already have. Sometimes it doesnt help to tell your partner everything. The doubt in your mind over his behaviour might actually be a doubt in your mind over yours. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. What should I do. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. You want me to go on a comma and replace her. i agree with everyone there's some really good sharing here. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" i asked him how he'd feel if i went and made out with another man in front of him. If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. I feel so bad since then. If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. Okay. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. That is what separates the women from the girls. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! I am sure this girl knows he is married. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. I'm going to keep my distance from my work colleague and I'm going to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. I'm asking myself all sorts of questions like did I like him, is that why I did it? I didnt tell him. So what do you think? "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" I was devastated. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! Kissing a man, I've just got into over the past couple years. I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. Here's what it's like for straight guys to kiss other guys - Metro I say tell him. What should I do. Lol I love you already. Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. Just my opinion. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. And a stitch in time saves nine. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. The planet won't stop revolving around the Sun if you don't tell him. Any advice guys? Food for thought, Michelle Langley. When the night was over one of the women said we could go back to hers for drinks, and I was happy to go. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? It was such a weird experience. 2. "what the hell where we at?" Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. There is more going on. drunk, kissing. I know he would forgive me but I don't want to deal with issue with him. I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? But the guilt is killing me. California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? (As you were), It happened to me,too last Jan.31,2016, and it happened again in the following days. It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. I enjoy watching my wife with other men, is this normal or - Health24 Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. Everyone makes mistakes and it's how you deal with them afterwards that is the most important thing. I tried to flag down a taxi but it ignored me and I even hid behind a wall at a garage while he took a pee. I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) A relationship with a man is supposed to be specifically platonic, says YouTuber David Godinez, while filmmaker James Rath says that men are told not to be physically intimate. Egon Ronay-level Petit Degustation, requires the corresponding amount of TIME in which to do so. I could go on about a lot of things here. Login first Wow! NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? Your punishment is living with this. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. Have a happy day every one. I had a kind of aha reaction because I realized I was attracted to him. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. Changing jobs or departments and without delay, those things that aren't rocket science, is definitely what I as a fractionally betrayed partner would call you putting your rueful money where your rueful mouth is - enough to help reassure permanently. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? What does it mean for my marriage? Better safe than sorry. Unforeseeable consequence. Your guilt is your punishment. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! Oh, I see. 10 Do's And Don't's Of Dating Multiple People | Thought Catalog I've gone to a couple thread's here recently. Personally I don't believe in marriage. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? Don't feel guilty. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. How can I get over the guilt of kissing another man? - Female First The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I kissed another man four years ago. We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. If I some how knew which thread to follow to I'd go. (SK: no, it's just one of those places that's never appealed, holiday-wise, no doubt exacerbated by the fact I don't like long-haul flights for how they literally do my head in (think it's the aircon gas plus oxygen deprivation (don't get me started)) often lasting for a whole week afterwards, which isn't exactly what I call having a nice time.) A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. Are you dreaming about another man? Here's what it really means v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. female Being married is something that can be quite complicated at times. Well, now, that little lot *definitely* counts as 'debate fodder' relevant to this whole issue, rather than pure chit-chat. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. If your husband *did* get wind of it thus realised you'd kept it secret from him - despite he told YOU when someone made a pass at HIM - he'd then have A NUMBER of major beefs with you: You lied to me for 2 years? Cell phones, texting, emails etc. ;-D. Ahhhh you're back! Truth-seekers are never popular. Something like that changes almost everything in a marriage. response. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. I wouldn't want him around the person. I was drunk but that is no excuse.